They say denial is a river in Africa.
Well, it's also an apartment on the Upper West Side in Manhattan.
I am moving in a week, and I'm in denial of this fact. It doesn't seem possible that in a few short days, I won't live here anymore. I won't be a New Yorker. But does living here only 3 years even qualify you as a New Yorker? I'm thinking no. But hey, I've definitely been 'a local.' But then again, I've always been a Texan, and I don't think you can claim two locations at once. So I'll stick with Texas.
I think the reason for the state I'm in is due to the fact that we are not packing ourselves for this Great Migration across the country. The Packers are coming next Monday. So my apartment looks like it has for the past few months or so, with only my boxes from work and my boxed up maternity clothes sitting in one corner to signify that Change is in the air. Mentally I'm preparing only for an extended 3-week vacation to TX, as that's all I have to pack for. It's very weird.
I waiver back and forth every day as to whether or not I'm actually ready to leave this great city. On the days that I have to fight the ladies in the laundry room, I'm desperate to get out of here. And on the days when I can't get a cab and need to get somewhere with the munchkin, and the subway is out because I can't easily get up and down the subway stairs with the stroller. But most of the rest of the time, I'm still enjoying living here. I love walking everywhere in my neighborhood. I like the close access to the parks. I even enjoy NOT owning a car. But mainly, this has been my home for the past 3 years, and it's going to be hard to say good-bye.
I think THAT is the main reason I'm in De-Nile. Good-bye seems like forever. And I'm not ready for that. I'm ready to get on with my life, and I know this is a good thing for my family. But it's still hard.
2 months ago
6 comments:
I think maybe no one is commenting because all Texans want you back. Personally, I think you can claim being a New Yorker. I'm amazed and awed that you two packed up and headed north. For THREE YEARS. And survived. That's something.
I don't think you can claim New York, just as I can't claim Texas. Not that you hear me fighting to claim Texas or anything. Just sayin'. :o)
I think we're New Yorkers for the time we were here. I mean, of all our friends, we seem to know more about the city, how to get around, etc. We made our home here, and for 3 years we were New Yorkers. And we loved it too, that makes a difference as well.
New Yorkers by residence, Texans by birth. Home is where your heart is, and for three years your hearts have been there. Of course you will miss it.
(But yes, we Texans sure are glad to be getting you back!)
When we left DC after 3 years of living there to come to NYC it was sad. Packing, moving, etc was such a pain that it overwhelmed the emotion of leaving. We left dear friends, a beautiful neighborhood and city. I do miss DC still to this day. Similarly, I miss Houston. I miss the smell of honey suckle vines, fresh rosemary growing in your yard, grilling, Sunday dinner with family and DAY TRIPS to aggie football games. I want it all.
There is so much to experience in the world that I'd love to be three or four or five people living parallel lives in ecxciting places.
Sadly, dreams often get tapered by reality. Making a living today is tough. Things seem more expensive, competitive and complicated than the choices our parents faced. We make practical decisions to better ourselves and hopefully be in a position to help our children when the time comes for them to leave the safe confindes of your home.
Enjoy the country music, green grass, grand mom's home cooking, traffic and smog. I'll remind you of Central Park on a glorious summer day, the exceptional violinist on my morning commute that brightened my day, the subway sardine press and the 12 pound rat that almost scampered across my foot at Union Square.
-AGV
I hate it when I type and post and see grammar, spelling, etc. errors. I guess you can't edit these posts.....can you?
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